附註:The core fears buried inside relationships -- The fear of engulfment, will I still exist if I merge with you? -- The fear of abandonment, is there a magic glue to make you stay? -- The shame factor, you won't love me anymore if you see the real me -- The emptiness trap, if I keep moving, I won't have to look inside -- The masking issues -- Introduction to part II -- Time spending it together, spending it apart -- Money, yours, mine and ours -- Children, am I ready for this? -- Sex, what happened to it? -- Exclusivity, who do we let in, who do we keep out? -- Trust and goodwill, is long-term commitment possible if these are lost to us? -- Making a decision : letting go versus going for it.
摘要:Why is it that men and women don't seem to understand each other or see things in the same light? In 1993, through his huge international bestseller, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, John Gray said the reason was because men and women were from two different planets. In 2004, Matthew McKay, Ph. D., says it's because of fear -- and the way women and men react to the four different types of fear -- that destroy committed relationships. Further, in The Commitment Dialogues, Dr. Matthew McKay and writer Barbara Quick offer couples hope that there is a way to actually talk about issues, understand each other, and compromise on the main issues in committed relationships: money, sex, children, time, etc. The Commitment Dialogues is a unique approach to relationship and communication books in that it allows readers to witness dialogue between couples that have been in therapy with Dr. McKay and learn where and why the discussions turn sour. In turn, Dr. McKay dissects the dialogues and illustrates the more effective ways of talking about these issues.; Readers will learn that the lack of communication or the miscommunication that happens in their committed relationships is due to four types of fear: Fear of Engulfment, Fear of Abandonment, Fear of Shame, Fear of Emptiness. When our reactions are based on fear - whichever type it is - we tend to project that fear onto the other person and the conversation turns sour. Now, in The Commitment Dialogues, readers will finally learn how to identify that fear and implement it productively instead of allowing it to sabotage relationships by seeing their biggest communication blunders in living color through the examples and dialogues of others in similar situations.
